Individual Cheesecakes + Mothering Ourselves

Happy Friday, Friends! Today I’m featuring individual cheesecakes that are luscious and creamy—and seriously easy to make. The cakes get topped with a sweet fruit topping and crunchy maple almond clusters, but this is a recipe you can truly make your own, and I offer several different options for serving. The cheesecakes can be made ahead (they can even be frozen!) and would be perfect for Mother’s Day this weekend. Speaking of which, let’s talk about mothering ourselves. 

Thank you to paid subscriber Krystal who requested a cheesecake recipe and sparked the idea for these beauties—one of the benefits of being a paid member is that you get to request the recipes that I develop here.

Two and a half months ago, my body was overcome by deep fatigue and joint pain. I attributed this to chronic Lyme’s disease, which has resurfaced in the past. I did all the things I usually do when Lyme’s symptoms appear—I rested; I cut out foods that trigger joint pain (including grains, which is why you’ve seen so many grain-free recipes here lately, including this skillet spoon cake); I saw my acupuncturist and CranioSacral therapist, and I made an appointment with my doctor. I stopped doing any form of structured exercise but committed to only moving if it felt good (this looked like a lot of walking, dancing in my basement and jumping on the trampoline). I kept surrendering and listening to my body. Since I had been through this before, I still deeply trusted that my body was working towards healing. 

I would think I was getting better, but a day or two later the pain would return. Nothing helped. This went on for two months.

Two and a half weeks ago I was playing Uno with my family and a full body flare-up came on. I went upstairs and drew an epsom salt bath. My whole body hurt, and I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I started sobbing. I was so tired of it all. I wanted to feel better. I wanted my mom. I wanted her to take care of me and tell me everything was going to be okay.

My mom lives over two-thousand miles away. I was alone in the bath without a phone. I realized that I needed to become my own mom. 

So I placed my hands on my heart and started talking to myself as my mom would do, or as I would do for my own two kids. “It’s going to be okay, sweetie. We’re going to get through this. I’m with you. I won’t leave you. I love you so much.”

Eventually the tears—and the flare-up—subsided. I released all I could. I slowly came back home to myself. 

Parenting (and reparenting) ourselves 

It’s not easy to parent ourselves, but it can be incredibly powerful. As

Leanne Brown

explains in this podcast episode, when she’s grieving or sad and doesn’t want to eat but knows she should, she separates herself into parent and child. Her “parent self” gently nurtures her child self, explaining that eating will make her stronger and that they can do this together. 

We all have a deep inner self that supports us. When we tap into this aspect of ourselves, we can begin to parent ourselves during times of suffering, pain and loneliness as well as during times of joy and celebration. We can become our own mothers, offering the words, support and/or physical touch that are exactly what we need in that exact moment.  

The mothers within us are not the mothers we grew up with. I’m lucky to have grown up with a wonderful mother, but I have many friends who have extremely challenging relationships with their moms, and some who don’t have moms at all or choose not to communicate with their moms. The mother I’m referring to is the highest aspect of you—the deep, steady part of you that’s always unwavering in love (she’s there, I promise, regardless of your chosen gender). When we mother ourselves from this place, we can give our inner child the words and attention that perhaps we didn’t receive when we were younger, or that we uniquely need right now, in the present situation. 

Using food as a tool

Food can be a wonderful tool to practice reparenting ourselves. As I explained in this newsletter about emotional nourishment:

“…these moments give us an opportunity to reparent ourselves. When we feed ourselves deliberately and with intention, we can become our own loving parent, providing the nurturing our hearts are seeking. The goal isn’t to make the emotions go away, but to be with them fully and with love, feeding them as you would a small child. This can help us feel safe and supported, even if we’re all alone.”

We can intentionally take the time to make ourselves a meal or snack, simply to express our love. We can gently encourage ourselves to eat when our stomachs are tight with despair. We can bake a cake or homemade cookies for our own sheer pleasure, in celebration of being alive.

Healing

I’m finally starting to get to the other side of this healing crisis (it appears that the issue is linked to my thyroid, not to Lyme’s at all). Things still aren’t clear, but we’re getting there. The past two and a half months have been hard in many ways, but they’ve also taught me a lot about what if feels like to be in my body, even when she’s in pain, and how to better mother myself. My energy is returning, but my commitment to nurture myself will remain. 

With Mother’s Day this weekend, perhaps we can try mothering ourselves a bit more. In addition to celebrating the mother figures in our lives, I invite you to also celebrate the mother within you—the deep, wise part of you that’s always there to provide support, love, compassion, and care. 

Individual Cheesecakes 

While you can certainly make these cheesecakes for the moms in your life, you can also make them just for you—to honor your incredible capacity to nurture yourself. The recipe is quite easy to make, and the cheesecakes freeze beautifully, meaning if it’s just you you’ll be serving, you can freeze some of the cakes for down the line. A hint of lemon zest and vanilla paste gives the cakes an irresistible flavor, while a mix of cream cheese and sour cream lends a rich and silky texture.