Parmesan Crusted Delicata Squash Salad + Laughing (at Ourselves)

Happy Friday, friends! Today I’m sharing a stunner of a salad. Actually, it’s two recipes in one. We’re making crispy parmesan-crusted delicata squash rings, which are sweet, nutty, and completely addicting. You can stop there or pile the crispy rings over a spinach and radicchio salad with a creamy parmesan dressing. It’s become one of my favorite winter salads, but this was not the recipe I was planning on sharing today (more on that in a minute).

Last week a community member (hi, Lynn!!) sent me a sweet email in response to my essay about judging ourselves (by the way, I love receiving your emails and comments). She reminded me of the importance of laughter. She wrote, “When my cake leaned to one side, I laughed. When my cookies turned out like rocks, well the crows would enjoy a treat.” She was commenting on the importance of laughing at our mistakes, and how laughter helps us to speak more kindly to ourselves.

Just that morning before I had read Lynn’s email, my inner voice told me during my morning meditation, “You get to choose how you see yourself.” Indeed, it’s a choice. I could see myself as lacking (or “____” fill-in-the-blank), or I could see myself as miraculous. We are all miraculous. We are all uniquely perfect, even with our faults and shadows and idiosyncrasies. 

It’s so easy to get bogged down in the seriousness of life. And yes, life is indeed serious. But we are also here to experience joy. Sometimes (maybe oftentimes?) we create more struggle and heaviness in our lives simply by how we perceive ourselves and the situations at hand. When we’re hard on ourselves, our lives become harder. It’s a self-perpetuating loop.

Lynn reminded me that laughter is a wonderful tool for cultivating self compassion. When we’re able to laugh at our mistakes—not out of sarcasm or derision but out of honest compassion—we lighten up our lives. We literally lighten up, mentally, emotionally and even physically. Instead of only seeing the negative sides of situations, laughter helps us to let things go. It shakes out shame and loosens up frustration, allowing us to move forward. Laughing can also crack open the door to joy, even during hard situations. 

Today’s newsletter was supposed to feature a pumpkin cake. I tested and tested the cake. I thought I had nailed it and even did a photo and video shoot. It looked beautiful! But the texture just wasn’t right. I was in a bit of denial until I sat the day after the shoot with a slice of cake and a cup of tea. The flavor was good but the cake had this weird, slightly chewy texture that just wasn’t right. Fuuuuuuuuuck. Yep, I said it. Then I started laughing. It wasn’t funny, but yet somehow it was? While I initially felt a wave of frustration, laughing seemed to shake the vexation out of me. It helped me to surrender to the failure, letting the cake (and all the work behind it) go. In other words, it helped me to move on. 

The beautiful but f-ed up cake.

Ironically, that very same day, the idea for this salad was born. And here we are.

Our mistakes are essential. Without them we’d never evolve and grow. We can choose to learn from our mistakes, or we can hold ourselves hostage under the weight of shame and frustration. I’ve found that laughter can be the doorway towards self compassion and freedom.

I’m not saying that we will always be able to laugh at our mistakes. Sometimes things feel too heavy, and we need to take space to breathe and process (and perhaps make reparations). But when we practice laughing at ourselves for the small blunders—for the flopped cakes, the burned nuts, the tough chicken, the over-seasoned soup—it becomes easier to give ourselves grace for the larger things as well. Laughter helps us hold our hearts more tenderly and lightly, letting go of the fallacy of perfectionism.

Invitation

My invitation for you this week is to lighten up towards yourself. Let’s laugh at ourselves because life is short and laughter makes things easier. Let’s celebrate the fact that we’re growing and evolving, and that we will f-up occasionally. Let’s laugh because it’s fun, and because laughter the most joyful expression of self compassion. 

How do you find lightness in tough situations?

Need some winter cooking inspiration? Check out this week’s podcast episode with

Hetty Lui McKinnon

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Food as Connection + Cooking Winter Vegetables with Hetty Lui McKinnon

Parmesan Crusted Delicata Squash Salad

I’ve been wanting to develop a “crusted” squash recipe for a couple of months (sparked by a conversation I had with a friend), but I didn’t want it to be complicated. That night when this recipe came about, I decided to stick with just parmesan cheese—no egg wash, breading or extra steps. The result was revelatory—the parmesan turns crispy and nutty, complementing the sweet squash. I had a hard time not devouring all of the rings directly off the pan (which you can absolutely do if you’d like). However, if you can hold out, they also pair brilliantly with a creamy parmesan dressing and greens.