Steak & Sweet Potatoes with Horseradish Arugula Sauce

Plus, the case for date-night-in ✨

Happy Friday, friends! Today I’m sharing a dinner that feels fancy but is deceptively easy (especially since it can be broken down into parts). And yes, it features a killer no-cook sauce, because as I’ve told you a million and ten times, a good sauce can transform an ordinary plate of food into something extraordinary. We’re making pan-seared (butter basted) steak, spiced roasted sweet potatoes and a creamy horseradish arugula sauce that ties everything together (I’ve also included variations for fish eaters and vegetarians below). 

The recipe was born on a date-night-in with James, where we cook ourselves dinner and lock the kids in the basement (j/k our basement door doesn’t have a key). If you follow my Instagram stories, you’ve seen hundreds of date night dinners by now, which we started doing every Friday during the pandemic lock-down (I feature some of our other favorite date night recipes below). I don’t think we’ll ever stop. We feed the kids early (they get to pick their meal—inevitably spaghetti with frozen meatballs), then they disappear in the basement to watch a movie while James and I cook our own dinner.

I love cooking with my loved ones, whether it be James, friends, siblings or parents, if I go into it with an intention for adventure and play. If I have an attachment to the end result or any notion of control or perfectionism then the kitchen can easily turn into a battleground (I’ve been there, and it isn’t pretty). I taught group and corporate cooking classes for many years and was always amazed to see how quickly guards dropped between strangers, colleagues and friends as they chopped, stirred, tasted, and baked their way to a shared meal. Cooking by its very nature is a sensual act (in that you must literally use your senses) and it can be a natural equalizer (again, if perfectionism and control are out of the picture)—you’re forced to work together to create something tangible, as a team.

On date nights I (wo)man the stove, James chops (and makes the cocktails—very important), then we light candles and sit to eat in the dining room. It sounds romantic (and often it’s truly lovely); however, date nights are also when we have our hardest conversations. There have been arguments, tears and really, really tough exchanges (and even one or two exits from the table). 

Earlier this month James and I celebrated our twenty-four year anniversary (since we started dating). I’m certainly no expert in relationships, but I have learned a bit in our time together, and it pretty much all boils down to this: we can’t be afraid to talk about it. If you don’t have a partner or spouse, the same goes for close friends.

Communication is hands-down the most important part of our relationship, and the past four years of date nights have made us much, much better communicators. The dining room has become a safe space of sorts to air what’s on our hearts, even when it’s hard to say or uncomfortable to hear. I tend to be reactive but have gotten better at pausing and thinking before speaking and responding. James tends to bottle things in and shut down but has gotten much better about opening up and being honest. 

A relationship is no perfect thing—it’s a complicated, living sea that rises, swells, falls, then rises again (if it’s meant to—I don’t believe all relationships are supposed to last). There will be upswings and low points, easy glides and rough waters. It’s all part of the package. After all these years with James, I’ve come to see that these are healthy cycles, and that each stage has added to the depth of what we’ve created—and still create—together. 

Date nights aren’t why our relationship has lasted so long—I attribute that mostly to luck (we’ve been together since I was eighteen and have each lived many different lives since then). However, over the past couple of years they’ve helped us weather a lot of uncertain times and some major personal shifts. They’ve brought us closer together in (often delicious, but sometimes challenging) ways.

Regardless of whether or not you have a spouse or partner, I believe that with any close relationship (whether it be a friend or family member) our work is to keep our own water clear. We do this by working on ourselves (I can tell you firsthand that no good comes from dumping our baggage on somebody else!) and by talking about what’s on our hearts before things become so murky that we forget why we’re riding the wave in the first place. It takes honesty and courage to be open and vulnerable with somebody else, but carving out a space to do so, regularly, makes things a lot easier. 

Also, it’s just as important to talk about the good stuff as it is to air out the stuff that’s bothering us. Our date nights have held more laughter than I could ever bottle up and there have been tears of pure joy. The same goes for the dinners I’ve cooked with my friends and family members. We play the music we like, we dance, we eat, we clean, we talk, we cry—we do things we wouldn’t (or couldn’t) do if we were at a restaurant. We devote our time to creating something fleeting but fun, together. There’s magic in that.

To be honest, our date nights are mostly uneventful, inevitably interrupted a few times by the kids who will come up to taste what we’re eating. Sometimes there’s very little conversation at all, just us sharing a meal, quietly, at home. But even on the nights when we’re tired and wearing sweatpants, date night has come to feel like a ceremony of sorts, a dedicated space of intimacy. Things don’t always turn out as planned, but we keep coming back, tasting, adjusting and sharing far more than just a meal. 

Invitation

Perhaps this week you can invite somebody you love, whether it be a partner, spouse, family member or friend, to cook a meal with you. Set an intention for adventure, play, openness and/or honesty (be sure to throw perfectionism in the trash). Play your favorite music. Cook your favorite things. Share a meal. Share what’s on your heart.

Tonight’s Friday, so James, if you’re reading this, I’ll see you in the kitchen at five. ❤️

Next week

My book manuscript is due in exactly two weeks (eek!) so I’m going to take next week off from the newsletter to focus fully on the book. I’ll be back on the 27^th with the first episode of season 3 of the podcast! Stay tuned, my loves. 

Steak & Sweet Potatoes with Horseradish Arugula Sauce

A good sauce can be the foundation for an entire meal, and this beauty is no exception. The kick of arugula mirrors the spice of horseradish in the creamy sauce (which can be made vegan—see the variations below), with depth from garlic and a hint of sweetness from honey. It’s also fabulous on burgers and sandwiches, and you can make it a few days ahead.