Is it okay to just be good enough?
Also, a creamy, spicy, umami-loaded new dip.
Happy Friday, friends! This dip is my new obsession (fun fact: I have a passion for dips that rivals Oliver Putnam in Only Murders in the Building). It’s ultra creamy, a tad garlicky, loaded with umami-spiced chili crisp, and has a hint of maple syrup to round out the edges—perfect for parties and game days (I’ve featured more of my favorite dips below, in case you love them as much as I do). Before we dive in, let’s talk about what it means to be good… enough.
Trading perfect for good enough
I’ve talked quite a bit about perfectionism here and how it’s a big fat stinking fallacy (see here and here). As Chyrssa Tsakiris explained in our podcast conversation, if something is perfect, it has no life—it’s dead.
also touched on perfectionism in this podcast episode, noting how our patriarchal programming puts an especially heavy weight on women to be all the things—the perfect employee, the perfect wife and mother, the perfect expression of a body, etc. etc. We’re led to believe (both women and men) that our performance is a measure of our worth—that what we succeed, achieve, acquire is a direct correlation to how worthy we are.For many years I unconsciously operated out of a pattern of perfectionism, and while I’ve done a lot of internal excavating to change that pattern, old habits are hard to break. As you know, I’m writing a new cookbook, and the old perfectionist side of me has tried to rear her pointy little head (I’m not sure why her head is pointy, but it’s definitely sharp and critical). I’ll find myself obsessing over sentences, wanting every word and every recipe to be completely flawless.
It’s good to be detail-oriented and discerning when writing a book. But there’s a fine line between editing and obsessing. When I find myself getting swept into that old desire for things to be perfect, the project turns into a monster—overwhelming and tormenting.
That’s not how I want this book to unfold. In fact, I’ve found that I can’t write this book from that headspace (it’s way more personal than my other books, and when I try to get too mental, the writing ends up feeling plastic or just plain terrible). I’ve therefore been choosing to practice the art of being good enough. I’m not saying that in a exasperated way, but rather in a light, always unfinished way. It’s good enough!! Can you sense how differently that feels from being under the constrictive weight of perfectionism?
While I’m constantly going back and refining and adjusting the book, I allow it to be an evolving sort of thing. Today this section is good enough!! Maybe tomorrow I’ll want to change things, but my job is to simply play around, bringing the text and recipes as closely aligned to my heart (and taste buds) as I can.
In the kitchen
Trading Perfect for Good Enough is a powerful practice to bring into the kitchen with regards to the foods we cook and eat. When we strive to make the perfect meal or eat the perfect foods, we get sucked into a vortex of stress. We trade pleasure for performance (did we eat all of the colors today? did we get enough grams of protein? was the chicken juicy enough? did we walk enough steps today?). When we don’t match those standards, we fall into a well of self criticism and judgement.
There is no right or wrong way to feed ourselves, and there is certainly no perfect way. There’s just a way that feels good enough today, which will probably be different tomorrow. (Plus, each one of us is completely unique, so who’s defining “perfect” anyway?)
There’s an immense amount of freedom in allowing ourselves to simply be good enough. Not perfect, not ideal, not jaw-droppingly amazing. Rather, always evolving and learning (and making mistakes along the way). After all, we’re already good enough, just as we are, in all our wild, messy humanhood.
Invitation
My invitation this week is to ask yourself what feels good enough, right now, in this moment? Let’s lower our standards, remembering that the “perfect meal” or “perfect diet” is a bunch of baloney. Can you honor what feels good enough in this moment without slipping into the desire for it to be anything more?
Perhaps it’s preparing a meal just for you, or taking five minutes to rest, or putting some care into a simple peanut butter and banana sandwich, or dancing at the stove, or making a cup of tea, or eating chips and dip by the light of your refrigerator with intention and joy… Only you will know.
And… if you want to take things even deeper, perhaps you can find a few minutes this week to go into the stillness of your heart, finding that pocket of love (it’s there, I promise). Try not to be anything else than who you are in this moment—perfectly, uniquely good enough.
Related links:
Embodiment as Resistance to Patriarchy with Chryssa Tsakiris
The History of the Patriarchy and the Fallacy of Gluttony with Elise Loehnen
Body Confident Woman Summit
My conversation with Elizabeth Hall as part of The Body Confident Woman Summit goes live today! The Summit is free, and in my conversation I go deep into my journey and share tools for finding more sovereignty in the kitchen. I’ve included a snippet below, and you can sign up for the free summit here. I hope you enjoy!
Chili Crisp Dip
There is no “perfect” in this recipe, as it’s the kind of thing that you can make your own, according to your beautifully unique palate. Want it spicier? Add more chili crisp! Prefer a bit more sweetness? Drizzle in some more maple syrup! The recipe was inspired by my Sriracha Cream Cheese Dip, another favorite. The contrast of the creamy, spicy dip with crunchy, salty potato chips is my idea of nirvana. It would be perfect for game days (hello Super Bowl) and parties, but I also love to have it on hand for weekday snacking and lunches (as I talked about here, if I could build a lunch out of a table of dips, I would be one happy lady).
You can download a PDF of the full recipe here (I’ve also included text and JPEG versions of the recipe below):
Watch the dip come together in this video:
Wishing you a weekend that’s delightfully good enough. Remember to nourish yourself with intention and love.
xo, Nicki
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Other dips to try:
Chili Crisp Dip
I serve the dip with kettle-cooked chips, which are ultra crunchy and sturdy, but any plain potato chips will do or even sliced veggies. The dip is also amazing on burgers, sandwiches and dolloped into rice bowls (I recently served it in bowls featuring sautéed shrimp, bok choy, and sticky rice—so good). If you can’t eat gluten, be sure to buy a GF chili crisp, such as Fly by Jing brand.
Serves: 6-8 | Prep time: 5 minutes
1 garlic clove, peeled
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, at room temperature
1/3 cup sour cream
2 tablespoons chili crisp (preferably Fly by Jing brand), plus more to taste
2 teaspoons maple syrup
Salt
1 tablespoon milk
Potato chips or sliced veggies, for serving
Place the garlic clove in a mini food processor, and process until finely chopped. Add the cream cheese, sour cream, chili crisp and maple syrup. Season with salt. Process until smooth, scraping down the sides as needed. Pour in the milk and process until light and creamy. Taste and adjust the seasonings to please your palate, adding more chili crisp if you prefer a spicier dip. Scrape the dip into a serving bowl and serve with potato chips or veggies for dunking.
Do Ahead: The dip can be refrigerated for up to 1 week. Bring it to room temperature before serving.
I have so many thoughts on this--and a related post in the works (so I'll be sure to cross-reference you here) but right now I'm between big kid jr. high bus pick up and little kid elementary school walk and this short note of appreciation will have to be good enough. :)