Grilled Broccoli with Cashew Miso Cream + Surviving vs. Thriving
It's all about the sauce, baby...
This creamy, dreamy (dairy-free) sauce hits all the right notes—bright with lemon, slightly sweet from a soaked date, rich with miso umami, and finished with a subtle cayenne kick. It’s delicious over grilled broccoli, but it’s also my new fave on grain bowls and salads.
Hello my dears,
We spent last week in Hilton Head with my family, and aside from responding to some incredibly beautiful comments from you amazing humans in this post, I mostly checked out of work, emails, and social media. It was delicious.
On Sunday evening I finally logged back in, and this reel from Reese Witherspoon popped into my feed—it shows her doing yoga on a front porch and lists the things she “can’t live without.” I scrolled past, but for some reason, the post nagged at me like a mosquito buzzing around my brain. It wasn’t until I washed my face later that night that I realized why.
In the reel, Reese lists ten things she “can’t live without”—summarized: her kids, dogs and horses, fresh peaches, yogurt soft serve, a great book, homemade chocolate, her workout playlist, her Apple Watch, tacos, and hugs from her mom.
These are all lovely things (and to be clear, I’m entirely neutral about Reese Witherspoon), but something big was missing. And I realized that my own lens had missed it too.
Here’s what was nagging at me: none of those are things we actually can’t live without. (Maybe her kids, but not in the literal sense.)
So what are the things we truly can’t live without?
Food. Healthcare. Shelter. Safety. Connection.
Surviving vs. thriving
Just a few hours earlier at dinner on our back deck, I had paused, set down my fork, and said to my husband and kids, “This moment—this is everything I live for.” And in a way, it was true. Aretha Franklin was softly belting in the background, the air was warm on my bare arms, I was surrounded by my favorite people, and the food was bright and delicious. It was a deeply satisfying moment—worth pausing for. Worth naming.
I’ve written before about how claiming our joy and pleasure isn’t frivolous—it’s fuel. When we allow ourselves to thrive, we gain the strength and clarity to do the hard, necessary work of healing the world. As put it in a recent note: “We can have joy and happiness and pleasure AND do good things in a world that is in turmoil.”
But that night at dinner, I mistook pleasure for survival. It felt like I couldn’t live without that moment—but I could.
Moments like that—or like the things Reese shared—help us thrive, not survive. Thriving has been a theme here on MBSF all season long. But here’s the thing I’ve been breezing over: we can’t thrive until our survival needs are met.
As I rinsed my face and water dripped down my chin, I felt a wash of sadness. The U.S. administration is poised to cut access to healthcare and affordable food for millions of people. Regardless of your political beliefs, these cuts will push many deeper into survival mode. And whether we realize it or not, it will affect us all.
As wrote last week:
How do you convince people to care about others? Actually, the question should be, why on earth do we have to convince people to care about others? How do you explain to people that only thinking of oneself as an individual and not as the collective is not helping anyone?
We are collective by nature. It’s written into the fabric of our DNA. A teacher of mine once compared society to the human body. When every cell is thriving, the whole organism thrives. Our culture tells us we’re in competition—but the truth is, when individuals thrive, society also thrives.
There’s a second part to that teaching as well. If you cut your foot, it doesn’t help to cut your hand out of empathy or guilt. It’s much easier to tend to a wounded foot with a healthy hand.
That lesson was a hard one for me to grasp, and I’m still working on it. Empathy can so easily slip into our own suffering, where we take on the pain of others. In doing so, we lose our power. That same teacher told us to hold compassion instead, allowing us to stay in our power and therefore be far more effective in lifting others up. And, as she reminded us on repeat, guilt gets us absolutely nowhere.
We all need to find ways to thrive—not as a badge of superiority, but as a source of strength so we can show up for others. So we can help others heal.
So maybe the better question isn’t What can’t I live without?
But What helps me live well—so I can help others live, too?
Yes to hugs, peaches, and chocolate. Yes to joy and soft serve and great playlists. But let’s not confuse thriving with surviving. And let’s not forget that our ability to thrive is bound up in each other’s.
Because when we care for the whole body—tending to what’s wounded, strengthening what’s well—we all move closer to the lives, and the world, we wish to see.
What do you think?
I’d love to hear your thoughts! What is currently helping you live well? What is giving you the fuel you need right now? As I’m writing this, the answer for me is quiet (I still haven’t gotten fully back onto social media, and it feels so good). I’m desiring space to think. To process. To BE. What about you? Let’s fuel each other!
Related posts:
Grilled Broccoli with Cashew Miso Cream
One of my strategies for easy but flavor-packed summer meals is to have a few no-cook sauces in the fridge, which I talked about this in this podcast episode with Kiano Moju. A make-ahead sauce instantly uplifts anything from salads, to bowls, to platters of meats and vegetables.
This cashew miso cream is a new favorite. It’s silky, rich and creamy, with brightness from lemon, a hint of sweetness from a date, a kick from cayenne, and a can’t-put-your-finger-on-it savoriness from miso paste. Like any no-cook sauce, you can adjust it to please your palate, and it gets even better with time, perfect for stashing in the fridge.
The sauce lends a creamy counterpoint to charred broccoli florets. If you haven’t tried grilling broccoli, it’s easy to do and you get all the crispy, caramelized bits that roasting provides, without heating up your kitchen (try this version with hot garlic honey!).
That being said, you could absolutely use roasted broccoli instead (or other vegetables, such as asparagus, eggplant, peppers and/or zucchini). Or, use the sauce on bowls and salads! OR, (and I just discovered this a second ago during a little break), dunk leftover cooked vegetables into the cold sauce like a dip. Yessss.
You can download a PDF of the full recipe here (I’ve also included text and JPEG versions of the recipe at the bottom of the newsletter):
Watch it all come together in this video:
More sauces to transform your summer meals
To access the recipes below, along with all the published recipes (over 125 and counting!), consider becoming a paid subscriber. Paid subscribers make all of this work possible, and I’m so grateful for you. ❤️
Miso Maple Magic Sauce (drizzle it over salads, grilled chicken, and grain bowls)
Chili Crisp “Special Sauce” (drizzle it over the shrimp bowls as featured, or slather it on burgers)
Horseradish Arugula Sauce (serve it with the steak dinner as featured, or with fish, chicken, or roasted potatoes)
Zhug Inspired Green Yogurt Sauce (serve it with the roasted chicken as featured, or with grilled fish or potatoes)
Peanut Dipping Sauce (use it with summer rolls as featured, or with chicken satay or soba noodles)
I’m wishing you a week filled with the things that help you live well. Sending big hugs, and remember to nourish yourself with intention and love.
xo, Nicki
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Grilled Broccoli with Cashew Miso Cream
This creamy, dreamy sauce hits all the right notes—bright with lemon, slightly sweet from a soaked date, rich with miso umami, and finished with a subtle cayenne kick. It’s delicious spooned over grilled broccoli (or any other grilled or roasted vegetables), or you can toss it into grain bowls or drizzle it on salads. The sauce gets even better with time, so go ahead and make it ahead of time (it will thicken slightly as it chills). Take note that you’ll need to soak the cashews, date and garlic for 15–20 minutes before blending!
Serves: 4
Cashew miso cream
3/4 cup (105g) raw cashews
1 Medjool date, pitted
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
2 teaspoons miso paste
1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
Pinch cayenne pepper
Grilled broccoli
1 pound broccoli, cut into 2-inch(ish) florets
2 tablespoons neutral vegetable oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
For serving
Flaky sea salt
Chili flakes, such as gochugaru, Aleppo pepper, or red pepper flakes
Black sesame seeds (optional)
Make the cashew miso cream
Place the cashews, date and garlic cloves in a heatproof bowl and pour boiling water over top to cover. Let sit for 15-20 minutes.
Drain the cashews and transfer them with the date and garlic to a high-speed blender. Add 3/4 cup of fresh water, along with the lemon juice, miso paste, salt, and a pinch of cayenne pepper. Blend on high until smooth and creamy. Taste and add more cayenne, if you’d like a kick. Do Ahead: The sauce gets even better with time and can be refrigerated for up to 5 days. It will thicken as it chills—stir it well before using.
Grill the broccoli
Preheat a grill to medium-high heat (450-500˚F/230-260˚C). Clean and lightly oil the grill grates.
Place the broccoli in a large bowl and drizzle with the vegetable oil. Season well with salt and pepper, and toss to coat.
Arrange the broccoli on the grill, positioning the spears crosswise to the grates so that they don’t fall through. Cover and grill until the broccoli is lightly charred with grill marks, about 5-6 minutes. Using tongs, flip the broccoli over. Cover and continue cooking, turning occasionally if needed, until deeply charred in spots and tender, about 4-6 minutes longer.
Serve
Transfer the grilled broccoli to a platter and drizzle the cashew cream over top (you won’t need it all—save leftovers for salads and grain bowls!). Sprinkle the broccoli with flaky sea salt, chili flakes, and black sesame seeds, if using.
Tips:
You’ll need a high-speed blender for this recipe (to ensure a smooth sauce), such as a Vitamix.
Medjool dates are plumper and creamier than regular dates, although you can use a large regular date instead.
Feel free to swap out the grilled broccoli with other grilled or roasted vegetables (think asparagus, eggplant, sweet bell peppers, zucchini, etc).
For another grilled broccoli variation, try this Grilled Broccoli with Hot Garlic Honey.
This is maybe my favorite thing you've ever written, and that's saying something. As is so often the case, your words mirror many of the thoughts I've been wrestling with this year. One of the most important things you said is "If you cut your foot, it doesn’t help to cut your hand out of empathy or guilt. It’s much easier to tend to a wounded foot with a healthy hand." Empathy is an essential human quality, but when it veers into suffering for the sake of suffering we become part of the problem, unable to be of help to those around us.
I have pasted your question, "What helps me live well—so I can help others live, too?" to the top of my daily to-do list so I see it every single day. Because this is the thing I want to think about and align my priorities with.
yum!!